Hard Conversations: How to Say No to Clients

As a wedding pro, you’re in the business of saying yes. Of course! We can make that happen. Not a problem! We’ll take care of that. Sure! I’ve never done that before but I can figure it out. Because, the business of weddings is the business of possibilities—and you surely aren’t the type to stomp on someone’s dream. But, even as an A-plus people pleaser, there are times where saying “no,” isn’t just necessary; rather, it’s the right thing to do. 

Your clients hire you because you are great at what you do and you can help them plan the best day ever. And, while that used to be pretty straight forward, saying yes to all of your client’s wishes during COVID-19 can have you hesitating (cue the sweat). So today, we wanted to help you feel confident about enforcing boundaries and saying “no” when you need to. Read on for tips to help you have hard conversations and learn how to say no to clients. 

How to say “no” when a couple wants to exceed the number of guests allowed

Normally, disagreements over the guest list are left to the couple but, nowadays, you might find yourself with a thought or two to interject. So, when you need to educate your couple about the local laws regarding the number of guests they can have at their wedding, here is one way you can start that conversation: 

Finalizing guest lists is always a hard thing to do because you’re excited to celebrate with everyone you love (and everyone who loves you!). Thankfully, we can still share the experience with your loved ones outside of your immediate family with technology. I’ve already touched base with your videographer and they are more than happy to set up a camera to live stream your ceremony! This will allow you to celebrate with the people who mean the most to you without needing to worry about exceeding the legal guest count maximum.

How to say “no” when a couple refuses to require masks and/or social distance at their wedding

Depending on where you live, rules about masks and social distancing can be different. And, if you live in a state where one or both are required by law, you may find yourself in situations where a wedding is not complying with those requirements. While enforcing rules may be the last thing you want to do, it is important for all pros to follow local rules and regulations—even when the couple feels differently. So, if you need to say “no” to the couple about saying “yes” to the rules, here is a way to put it delicately:

I understand that some of these requirements are not what you had envisioned for your wedding and for that, I apologize. As a business owner, I am required to follow the local rules and regulations in order to keep my license. 

How to say “no” when you no longer feel comfortable working a wedding

Boundaries have always been an important part of keeping your stress down and enthusiasm up as a wedding pro. While you might be great at reinforcing boundaries in situations you’ve had experience with, holding your ground can be hard when you’re being asked to do something for the first time. Throw a moving target and ever-changing regulations into the mix and you’ve got a recipe for feeling really uncomfortable all-of-a-sudden. So, if you find yourself in the very uncomfortable spot of no longer feeling comfortable moving forward if couples are not complying with local regulations, here are some words to help you bow out gracefully: 

It’s been great working with you and I am still honored that you picked me to be a part of your vendor team. As you know, there have been a lot of changes in the wedding industry as a whole as we all do our best to support our clients. And, at this time, local regulations prevent me from providing you the level of service you imagined.. Let me look at our contract and see how we can resolve this.

How to say “no” when a couple decides to cancel their wedding and they want their deposit back 

Many wedding pros have been not just forced to have hard conversations with clients but to make really difficult decisions this year. And, in the flurry of postponements and cancelations the industry experienced this spring (and continues to), one of the hardest “no’s” that has been said is in regards to returning deposits. So, if one of your clients makes this request and you need to decline it, here are some words to share in the hardest of conversations:

Preparing for a wedding starts long before the wedding date so my deposits are structured to cover the cost of that time and expertise. I am truly sorry that you are no longer able to move forward with your wedding as planned. As stated in my contract, deposits are non-refundable.